What are you thinking now?

Soon I was led to a room and told to strip, and I donned a smock. "I broke my penis!" I said to the doctor. The whole thing was starting to seem hilarious. He poked me with a toothpick to make sure I still had feeling. Ouch. I did. A female doctor walked in and let out an involuntary gasp, which did not inspire confidence. They both fetched a urologist while I lay with my eggplant penis propped up on a towel, hooked at a 15-degree angle. It was unreal, the kind of thing you might see at a seaside freak show or in a rare Victorian medical textbook.

Susan and I started giggling. "Take a picture," I said. "I do have my camera phone," she said and snapped a few photos for posterity.

The urologist's diagnosis put an end to the fun and games. He explained that three tubes run the length of the penis. When you get an erection, two tubes engorge with blood, which makes them stretch. And abnormal bending can cause them to tear. Pop.

Most often a penile fracture occurs when the woman is on top and the penis slips out during rigorous sex and slams into the perineum -- you know, the little no-man's-land between the vagina and anus. A recent study on penile fractures reports more than 1,300 cases. A startling number have involved sex on office desks. A few resulted when men rolled over onto their erection while asleep. One, involving a ranch hand, mysteriously occurred in a horse corral. And in 2001 a Massachusetts man unsuccessfully sued an ex-girlfriend, alleging negligence when he suffered a penile fracture after she repositioned herself "without prior specific discussion" during sex.

In the past a penile fracture was treated like a sprained ankle, with cold compresses and splinting. But that often led to some undesirable side effects, including what doctors call penile angulation. I did not want my cock looking like a boomerang for the next 40 years.

"We're going to have to keep you overnight for a procedure," the urologist said. My heart was in my mouth, and my eyes were watering. Until this point I'd been fooling myself, figuring Susan and I would get home before her mother was even back.

The doctor explained my two options: We could do nothing and the blood might drain, given enough time. Or he could drain the blood during surgery and repair the damage. Either way, the risks included nerve damage, reduced sensation and erectile dysfunction.

I looked at Susan. Now we both were crying. "Guys who forgo the procedure have more pain and more problems later on," the urologist said. He described the operation: They'd make an incision along my circumcision scar, then slide the skin down to the base of the penis. This would allow them to drain the blood and clean up any clots.

I admit it -- I'm fond of my penis. I always have been. I haven't given it a pet name or anything dumb like that, but it's one of the few things I've been able to rely on. It's a big part of me. And I was just now realizing it would never be the same.

I paused for a deep breath. "If you say this is the best thing to do, okay," I said. "When do we start?" Almost immediately they began to prep me for the first operation I'd ever had. I was extra nice to every nurse and orderly; these people were about to fillet my cock, and I wanted them to do the best possible job. A little extra karma couldn't hurt.

Six hours after I broke my cock I was in surgery. The anesthesiologist told me he was from Sydney, Australia, which reassured me. They like their cocks in Sydney, right? Okay, maybe the anesthesia was warping my mind. "You want this surgery because you want your cock back, right?" he asked. I was right! They do love their cocks in Sydney! With a flick of his thumb he started the IV drip

Searching for a new place to call HOME!

Yesterday, we decided to start our search for our new place. We had three places we were going to be checking out, but for some reason or another two of the places we couldn't get to. We got LOST and they could wait for us until 6:00pm. What is that? Do you see the bad of people come out after 6? Why is it that we couldn't go after 6 pm. No explaination. So, we only saw one place. This place was about 1,800 a two bedroom one bath. OH MY GOD... that was small! And I wasn't about to pay 1800 hundred for a place like that.

But according to Dragon it wasn't all that small...come on I couldn't be that off. That place didn't have anything inviting about it. We entered by the alley and the front door didn't even look like the front door. NO WAY! I am too picky to get stuck in a place like that. Oh god, I hope we have better luvk today!

Letter from a customer...

This email was sent to us from one of our customers. To be answered by any random representative. Keep in mind this is a "skincare company". I thought it was interesting enough to share it with you guys. I had to answer this email today...And at the time of answering it all that went in my mind as I was reading it was...Oh my god! After that my mind just went blank...And no I didn't just ignore it, and no I wasn't mean. I had to answered it.

Hello m....d, I have normally dry skin and I use a moisture every morning and evening. I have been eating the diet that seems best for my age, skin and works well with hypoglicia. I eat red meat, mostly okra as my veggies and bake my own rye bread so that I don't get wheat as I am allergic to this grain and also most others except rye. I have been very healthy on this diet. Normally I do sit-ups, pushups, and squats every day to keep in shape.

Apparently I did a silly thing by eating some dark chocolate recently. The next day I had 4 pimples on my left check. I decided I better not eat any more chocolate. Then I got in a hurry one day and grabbed some nuts to tide me over after exercising, and that evening the left side of my face showed more pimples and I didn't know what was really wrong with me. The next day the whole left side of my face was swollen and red and red bumps were traveling across my left cheek, I was feeling very sick and tired as if something was wrong with me, as my energy is usually high and even though I expend a lot of energy when singing grand opera, I have found if I eat a handful of nuts I cope with the physical stress better. I eat olives or avocados and eat peaches, apple juice and other fruit juices.

This allergic reaction is not like any other I have ever had, except when I ate things that I had become allergic to,. The rash was the same but the red whets were so much larger and the itching was impossible to ignore. So I tried to use the chicken and figs diet that the Notional Healing book recommended and the rash seemed to die down and my blood sugar more stable. But the next day my face was swollen and the itching more intense. I decided to stay on the chicken and figs one more day but that evening I came to the realization that I was more allergic to chicken and figs as I seemed to find no way to end the rash and itching. so I stopped eating and just tried to wait the rash out. I am now beginning to get the rash to settle down but then I ran out of the Vit. K I take 2 times a day and discovered that I really needed this vit. And it would have helped me keep the rash going down. So now you have the whole picture. I really had to stay on my diet or this rash and gas accompanying it would not end. Whee!

Let me know what you would recommend.

Thanks

Open house

Yesterday we had our first open house. I felt sad to see that selling the house is becoming something real. I feel like a failure...I know it's not our faults. But it makes me think, did I make a really stupid move? I guess the answer is yes. Now after we had our dream house, after all the remodeling, our beautiful nest is no longer going to "our" nest. We have to move. I love my house specially the detailed that went into making it ours.
For example the painting of the rooster. It was painted by a friend of ours, that alone is something special and unique.
Oh well, I guess things come and things go and we must let it our house go.

I can remember how excited I felt buying things, planting plants that I knew it would grow along with us.

Oh let me stop...Let's face it, we can no longer sacrifice ourselves in paying for a house that is leaving us penny less.

Stop complaining and move on already!

The journey of lesbian self discovery...Part 2

Love the post Dragon! What I am about to say I know most lesbians out there are going to be against it. But this is what I think. I don't consider myself "gay", I don't consider myself "bi-sexual" either. For the most part of my life I had boyfriends and I loved them. I met Dragon when I was in between boyfriends. I was curious about being with a woman, I wondered what it would be like to be with a woman...But it was just a sexual curiosity. I wasn't thinking of starting a relationship with a woman. The thought of being sexual with a woman just took my curiosity to the next level, and I had to explore it! I met Dragon thinking it was going to be something fun and exciting, but it never crossed my mind to start anything serious. The reality is, I fell in love with her and everything seemed to fit perfectly. I enjoyed her company, I was attracted to her and I wanted more and more of those feelings as time went by. So, being with her just became natural. I never thought I would be giving up men. In fact I still feel an attraction for men. But it's never to the point where I would considers leaving Dragon for those feelings. I met her and instantly I had found my soul mate. And I know we will always be together. Because what she and I have is very rare, almost impossible to find. I would be crazy to leave her.

My question now is...Being "gay" is that really something in your DNA or is it influenced by the media etc. For instance Dragon never thought of herself as being gay until she started to explore the internet. Though she said she was never inclined to using make up or being with a man. But she had a boyfriend, and she was in love with him. If he wouldn't have been such a careless jerk, I think she would still be with him.

I don't like labeling myself because I don't consider myself a "lesbian". I am not attracted to every single woman that walks by. NO, that's not me. I am and have only been attracted to one and yes, that is Dragon. So, do you choose to be gay? Or does being in love matter if you are gay or not gay...But just finding that "special person" is the key?

I don't know the answer myself, though reading Dragon's post made me think of my own questions and made me think of my life as a person in love with a woman. But not a lesbian, but just a person who loves a woman.

Cravings...

Today at work I had a craving to have a Tasty and Toasty Panini chicken sandwich from Corner Bakery. Corner Bakery is about 20 minutes. walking distance from my work. Neither my co-work or I wanted to drive. So, we decided to walk. I had boots on that have always been very comfortable. We headed out...half way I started feeling a slight pain on the soles of my feet, I chose to ignore it. We make it to the restaurant in 15 minutes. We got our Paninis and went back to work. 5 minutes into our walk back to work the soles of my feet started to hurt a lot. I could barely stand the pain, so painful that I was even limping. I barely made back to work!
I got to my desk and the first thing I did was take my boots off...Totally forgetting my Panini that I had been craving for. I take my boots of in PAIN and I look at my soles I have HUGE blisters on both of my feet. My friend and co-worker started laughing and said, all this time I didn't believe you. I wish I could take a picture! I sat and ate my Panini and didn't move from my desk until it was time for me to go home. I could barely make it to the car!
I got so mad at myself because I had a pair of walking shoes underneath my desk and didn't wear them. I just never thought my comfy boots would give my such blisters. Now I know next time I wear those boots I have to use socks not nylons.

Painful lesson learned...Was the Panini worth it? YES! :P

When we want something so bad...

Sometimes we want things to happen in our lives and we do anything to make them come true. For instance I wanted to move out and buy my house. The time came we bought the house, not actually thinking about that the day when either one of us wasn't going to be able to be around. What if we ended up alone, what would happen then? How were either of us going to make the mortgage on our own? I know that it was mostly my influence on Dragon that pushed her to agree with me...Or just my enchantment? :)

Now, after the renter we had blew our guest house to pieces. We don't have that income coming in. We have fallen back in our mortgage payments. We are always very tight on cash. But hey we have the house...Is it worth it? No. I don't think that owning a house is worth our trouble and wondering if we are going to make the next months mortgage. Or even ruining our credit. No, is never worth it. We don't have any kids, we are just the two of us and two dogs. We don't need to have a big house that we hardly ever enjoy because we work hard to be able to pay. Now is that the American Dream?
I don't know, but I see that is not worth it for us. And unfortunately we invested a lot of money making it our "dream" house. Now we have to sell it, and we wont even make what we invested in the house making all the improvements. On top of all that California Taxes the hell out of you. Specially if you are "single" to everyone. Since same sex couples are not legal in California...Therefore we still appear as single people, guess what we will tax the hell out of you for being single!!

Such bull shit I tell you!

Happy New Year!

New years...And he continues to eat anything in his way. Last night for our New Years celebration I made a Strawberry Short Cake...And as you can see that was the pan I made it in. His contribution was to clean every piece of the cake off the pan or as much as he could. Ah the life of a dog...eh, nothing to worry about, but eat.

Talking about New Years, don't you find it annoying all this hype about New Years resolution. Come on if you haven't made any changes in your life till now, what makes you think you will do it this year. Just find yourself a motivation and do what you set yourself on doing. Don't wait for the new year to make a commitment to change.

We got a membership to the gym and we were going faithfully I had even lost 20 pounds! Then the holidays came I took a week of from work and we decided to stop going to the gym until all the holidays were over. As I type this today I feel those 20 pounds lots, are back on me again!!
Damm it, it was hard for me to lose the weight on top of that make myself go to the gym on days where I just wanted to come home and relax. Now I have to start all over again...

Good luck to those that believe on waiting for the New Year to come around to make a commitment to a better you.

Happy New Year by the way...